- Transforms kids into quiet little angels
- 60 minutes of tranquility, freedom and joy
- Ideal for power-napping, boiling 20 eggs or knitting a very small hat
- Compatible with ages 0-18
What You'll Get
Managing tantrum-throwing teenagers and bored children can majorly cut into parents’ chill time. For mums and dads who just want to relax without a backing track of screaming and chaos, Groupon are offering this magical ‘take a break’ token. It pacifies kids for a full glorious hour in which parents can watch a Miranda marathon, learn to crochet or listen to Gary Barlow’s Greatest Hits without being pelted by spaghetti hoops and chicken nuggets. Much like an episode of Peppa Pig, the innovative token technology puts kids into an enchanted, angelic state for activities such as being nice and doing as they're told.
Groupon strives to offer stressed individuals time off from their lives, children and responsibilities with a comprehensive range of ‘time out’ tokens. Each bespoke token is designed to offer 60 minutes of chill time for when annoying people are being annoying or bosses are getting all up in one’s grill. Upcoming deals include a portable awkward-conversation black hole, tube journey memory erasers and compliment slips for the ultra-needy. Fear not over-worked and under-paid individuals, Groupon is here to cheerily outstretch a discounted helping hand.
Critics gave an infinite amount of praise to the ‘take a break’ tokens with two thumbs up, five smiley faces and a BAFTA. Reviewers noted the super-fast time in which the token took effect and applauded its stylish rhodium colour-plated crystal-encrusted design.
‘I usually calm Tarquin down with a walk round the local high-end supermarket but thankfully Groupon have saved me from the maddening amounts of curly kale I was buying.’
Jimothy L. Coco
‘The voucher is gr8. THANK YOU!1!! Groupon.’
Details forcibly extracted 13 May 2014. Learn more about Groupon's Merchant Reviews Policy.
The Fine Print
Validity: One hour but 3,600 seconds sounds better so let's go for that. Please note that none of this is real and we're only joking.
Purchase: One per child or two-for-one deal if you have twins. Double silence. Imagine that.
Booking: Not required but we advise that coupons are redeemed the split second before breaking point is reached.
Restrictions: For use on under 18s only. If used on adults the voucher will have a reverse effect and cause embarrassing tantrums and tears.
Original value: Money literally can't buy this. Except for maybe a million billion pounds.